“Duty of Care In Action”
“Who’s looking after the people looking after the people?”
“Take and give care”
Three phrases that have not only have become synonymous with the work I do at DOCIAsport but phrases that have played on my mind increasingly in 2023. My career has transitioned over the years in ways that on reflection have surprised me, particularly when I have trusted my instinct and taken the plunge into the unknown. I have now (finally) come to accept that I too have transitioned with age and changed as a person. The result is I have decided to apply some Duty Of Care In Action (DOCIA), to look after myself better (mentally) and taken some care as well as continued to give it. Not before time some of you who know me might say.
With the help of Richard Husseiny (Guiding the Men Behind Sport) I have started to re-evaluate what my purpose is and what matters to me now as a man of ‘a certain age’. I realise that in order to fulfil my purpose what matters to me – is me! And I need to take better care of me. 2023 is proving to be a year of milestones and change and in order to take stock (and care!) I signed up to a 3-day Digital Detox Retreat courtesy of Unplugged Digital Detox Cabins. Just me and my dog Fred in a cabin called ‘Gruff.’ In a field in West Sussex completely ‘off grid’. Yes, I was anxious going. Could I find it? Can I get my gear into the cabin without everything getting soaked? Yes it was raining – again! Would I be able to fill my time for three days without my smartphone, access to Wi-Fi and the world at large?
Well, the answer was a resounding YES! (after I got the log burner going – #stressful.) After the first night I didn’t close the blinds and I reaped the rewards as each morning I watched the daybreak from the comfort of my bed and had the privilege to watch a barn owl on his ‘dawn patrol’. Fred and I explored courtesy of the paper map in the welcome pack and when we returned, I read both current affairs (aka the newspaper), and fiction. I meditated – a habit I have returned to with the huge benefit of calming my cognitive dissonance – and did some personal development work (offline of course.)
My mind became clearer and sharper over the stay. I stopped clock watching, did what I wanted to do when I felt like It – and not defined by the time of day and the nervous twitch of reaching for my phone.
All well and good I hear you say but what happened when one man and his dog returned to the real world? Firstly, credit to Unplugged because they chaperoned me into and out of the retreat with the wisdom of experience, so I didn’t feel I was on my own. The first afternoon I was ‘out’ I reconnected with my family to reassure them I was ok and hadn’t spent 3 nights shivering away living on a diet of grass. (They were more concerned about Fred to be fair).
But, no emails till the next day and I am now limiting my time (and the actual time I am spending online.) The phone is turned off at 9pm and left downstairs at bedtime. When I’m working, I leave it out of reach to stop ‘the twitch’. I have a new digital alarm clock with ‘wake-up’ lighting and I guess I have a reinforced belief in the power of nature and being outdoors too– so Fred’s happy.
It’s not easy taking and giving care sustainably but I am determined to do better. I actually think my focus is better and therefore the work I do is better – and taking less time too. Would I do a retreat again? Definitely and I will look to perhaps do one every 6 months.
Take and give care (not do as I say for once – but do as I did – and is a ‘work in progress.’)